10 Lessons on Love from ‘The Bachelor’

In honor of tonight’s season finale, I thought I’d share a few lessons on love from my favorite reality television show. Enjoy. XO

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  1. Crazy don’t lie. If it walks like a nutcase and talks like a nutcase, then it’s a nutcase. Is it just me, or were there even more crazies than normal on the show this season? They may be able to hide it for a brief time, but everyone’s true colors come out eventually. When the crazy comes out, just run. It’s not nerves or a misunderstanding—it’s crazy. Run.
  2. Keep your business your business. Your relationship is a private thing, and you should be able to tell your partner something in confidence and trust that he won’t blab it around. I think Chris seems like a really nice guy, but there are a lot of reasons why he’s the worst bachelor ever—like this one. Remember that awful 2-on-1 date when he told Kelsey all the terrible things Ashley said about her. WHAT?! It blows my mind that this man made it to his mid-thirties without learning that you don’t do that. Maybe that’s why he’s still single.
  3. Nice girls finish first. The sweet girls always, always win. And by win I mean get married. If a mean girl does win the actual competition, the relationship never last (exhibits a, b, and c).  Don’t be a mean girl. It’s not fetch. Yep, see what I did there?
  4. Think carefully about your first date outfit. Choose your outfit. Stop. Really think about it. Choose again. Some of the girls—oh. my. word. I know they are trying to stand out and everything, but you want this man to be your husband! His mom is probably watching, and you want her to be your mother-in-law. Use some sense, lady!
  5. Alcohol and first dates just don’t mix. Don’t get me wrong, I love my vino as much as the next girl, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having one or two drinks on a date. But ladies—being drunk on your date is not attractive or classy. If you’re willing to put your whole life on hold and come on a reality television show in order to find a husband, then I think you can go without that extra drink. Keep it together.
  6. Give it your all. If this show gets one thing right, it’s that you have to be all in when it comes to love. These girls put everything they’ve got on the line, and I’ve got to respect that. Being in a relationship takes a lot of work, and you have to be willing to put the other person first. And, of course, when 25 girls are putting everything on the line for the same guy—well that’s just pure entertainment.
  7. Don’t Settle. It always baffles me that every single girl talks about how much she likes loves the bachelor. Every. Single. Girl. That just seems highly unlikely. Yes, he’s attractive. He seems sweet (and also a little dull).  But there’s no way they’re all really interested in him. It’s okay not to like someone. It’s okay to walk away from that relationship.  Don’t let the fear of being alone keep you from settling for less than what you deserve.
  8. Save the drama for your mama. Relationships are hard enough without tons and tons of unnecessary drama. Ever notice how the girls who cause the most drama don’t make it to the finish line (or if they do, the relationships don’t last)? It’s too much, ladies. No one wants to deal with that kind of drama until death do you part—I promise.
  9. Choose a partner who can actually get along with other human beings (not just you). Some of these girls can’t get along with anybody except the bachelor himself. They’re all competing for the same guy, and I get that that particular dynamic causes some issues. But come on! The thing about relationships is that your partner often brings out the best in you…and the worst. If a girl is cruel, rude, and manipulative towards other girls, chances are that she’ll eventually treat a guy that way, too. Basic kindness and compassion go a long way, ladies. As does basic sanity.
  10. Love is hard work—but it’s not a competition. The fact is that the basic premise of this show is flawed.  Love is hard work.  It can be challenging and difficult, and at times you may even have to fight for it. But love is not a competition, and if all you’re doing is fighting and trying to convince the other person to choose you, then it’s just not worth it. You should be someone’s only choice—that’s real love.
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