Valentine’s Weekend in Asheville

Bryan and I took a quick trip to Asheville—one of our all-time favorite cities—to celebrate Valentine’s Day, and we got to take Finley with us.  We ate yummy tacos, explored breweries, had a delicious dinner at The Admiral, and took Finley on her first hike. The perfect weekend getaway.

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February Reading List

  1. Small Admissions by Amy Poeppel. After getting dumped by her French boyfriend, Kate attempts to get her life back together by accepting a job in admissions at a prestigious private school in NYC.  The novel explores the crazy competitive world of private school admissions for the wealthy elite, as well as the many complicated relationships in Kate’s personal life. There’s nothing exceptional about this book, but it’s an entertaining read with some quirky characters and seriously funny moments. I enjoyed it.
  2. The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon. The Sun Is Also a Star follows the lives of two teenagers who meet by chance (or fate) and fall in love…over the course of one day. The catch? The protagonist is the daughter of illegal immigrants, and her family is being deported back to Jamaica that night. The book is charming and a little melodramatic—which I guess is appropriate considering that it’s written for teenagers. It also has a super sweet ending. If you’re into young adult novels, I would give this one a shot.

What I’ve Learned From 10 Years

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Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and I recently realized that Bryan and I have officially spent ten Valentine’s Days together. TEN! We’ve only been married three years, but we started dating my senior year of high school. (We also met for the first time at thirteen, so suffice it to say that he’s been through a lot with me.)

A lot of people are talking about love this week…and with good reason. Love is an important, hard, confusing, incredible, life-changing topic—and there’s a lot to say. In ten years of loving Bryan, I’d like to think I’ve learned a few things about love. At the very least I can say that what I thought I knew about love and marriage has totally shifted.

When you’re with someone for ten years, change is inevitable.  The world will change. Your lives will change. Your relationship will change. And you will both change, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. Bryan and I are both very different people from the two teenagers who went on their first day to see a Reese Witherspoon movie over a decade ago.  As we’ve grown and changed, we’ve had to choose love again and again. We’ve had to decide to grow together instead of apart. We’ve had to choose to accept the way the other person has changed, even when it wasn’t what we wanted. And during that time, I have learned two very important things about love…

First, I’ve learned that love is hard. This seems obvious, but I think that love—and marriage in particular—is hard in ways that you can’t understand until you’re in the thick of it. There are so many big things to fight about, like sex and money and family and planning for a future. But there are also the little things, from laundry to dirty dishes to stealing the covers, that can pile up and become the things that break you if you let them. There is disappointment and frustration and worry. And the choosing is hard, too. Choosing to put the other person first. Choosing to let things go. Choosing to love someone who you don’t particularly like all the time. Love is about selflessness and sacrifice, and those two things are never easy.

But I’ve also learned that love is so, so worth it. Over the past ten years, we’ve graduated from college and grad school and found careers that bring us fulfillment. We’ve lived in two apartments and bought out first house. We’ve cooked meals together and made plans and travelled all over the world. We’ve grieved together and learned how to share. We brought home the world’s sweetest puppy and said “I love you” more times than I can count. Together, we’ve built a whole life.

When I look at Bryan, I still see my very best friend in the whole world. I see a partner and someone I fully trust and respect. I see someone who makes me laugh and brings out a freer, more content version of myself. There is never a day when I don’t feel safe in his love.

In ten years, I can think of so many things I’ve done wrong. I can think of fights I regret and words I wish I could take back. I can think of mistakes and failings, both as a wife and just as a person. But here we are, ten years later, and the love is still here—strong and steady and in it for the long haul. Ten years can be a long time to love someone. Thank goodness we’re just getting started.

 

 

Friday Links

Friday Links are a round-up of my favorite posts/videos/projects/photos from around the web.

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Happy Friday! Bryan and I decided to get away for a quick trip with Finley this week to one of favorite places.  We’re celebrating Valentine’s Day a few days early and enjoying the incredible weather North Carolina is experiencing right now. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! XO

For your weekend reading pleasure…

What’s Saving My Life

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One of my favorite writers asked this question on her blog the other day: What’s saving your life right now?

The idea comes from Barbara Brown Taylor’s memoir, Leaving Church, which just so happens to be one of my favorite books of all time. In the memoir, she talks about being invited to speak and the host assigning her this topic.

To me, it’s more accurate to ask about those things that are giving us life.  What brings you joy these days? What little moments do you look forward to each day? Why do you want to get up in the morning? What is the bright spot?

There is always plenty to complain about, and it’s easy to focus on the negative. But I love the idea of giving time and space to focus on the positive things in our lives—no matter how small or trivial they may seem to other people. The thing giving you life these days may be as simple as a cup of coffee in the morning. (And let’s be real…that morning of cup of coffee is LITERALLY life-giving.) Here are a few things that are “saving” my life right now….

  1. Books – There is fresh stack of books on my bedside table, and I’m making the time to actually READ them.  Words—writing and reading them—give me life.
  2. Midday Escapes – I’m working on being more intentional about balancing my work life and personal life. If I got to work at 8:30 and know I’ll be there until 9:00 that evening for a meeting, I take an hour in the middle of the day to do something for myself. Sometimes it’s wandering through a book store or going home to have lunch with my husband. Sometimes it’s just walking across the street for a cup of coffee. Either way, it’s fresh air and it’s glorious.
  3. Finley – My sweet girl. I love her so much. I’ve never been a dog person and had no idea I would grow so attached when we got a puppy. But I’m totally smitten. And there’s nothing like coming home to a so-excited-to-see-you-she-can’t-stand-it puppy.
  4. Red Wine – Most of my (adult) life, I’ve been a white wine drinker. Lately, I’ve been having a glass of red wine at night and I’m kind of starting to enjoy it. Sometimes I pair it with popcorn so I can feel like I’m basically Olivia Pope.
  5. Sunshine – This has been the strangest, most wonderful winter ever. We had snow and then a 70 degree day less than a week later. Since then, we’ve had these pockets of gorgeous, sunny days (like today), and they make me so, so happy.
  6. Writing – I’ve said before that writing is the way I talk to God, and I’ve been making the time to do it more and more. Whether it’s here on the blog or just in a prayer journal, I’m enjoying the act of creating.
  7. Girlfriends – I’m a big believer in the idea that relationships–all relationships–take work.  For me, that means making time to see my friends every week even when I’m tired and busy and have too much going on. Our weekly dinners are the highlight of my week, and I’m always, always, always glad I made the time.